I have a problem. I wish there was an anonymous support group for it, but I checked. No luck. I suffer from ‘over-thinking‘. Its a widespread epidemic but no one has yet figured out a treatment for this disease. And boy, does it spread. It spreads like wildfire, from neuron to neuron, brain to brain, until everyone is over-thinking. My yoga guru said something wise last evening “The mind is naturally predisposed to go in the direction of the ‘negative'”. It was such a simple, yet profound thought. Isn’t that so true? Simple example. You receive a message which states ‘I need to urgently talk to you.’ You first thoughts can range from ‘who died??’ to ‘what did I do wrong’? It depends on how morbid you are. But the point is, they are rarely positive thoughts like, ‘I’m sure she wants to tell me she missed me’ or neutral thoughts like ‘The cat must have just given birth’. The truth may be far from your thoughts. In my case it was like ‘I finally found the shoes i loved in my size!’ So its safe to say, the panic was useless. And time consuming. So you tell yourself: next time exercise some rational thinking and make no judgements. Does this work? Nope. Next time something happens, you gravitate to the negative.
This weekend was such a weekend. The type where you sit and brood and think of all sorts of thinks because….well because you can. But I wanted to give it a twist. I did not want to indulge in any activity that I was not absolutely keen on. I did not want to do any chores that were not extremely urgent. I did not want to think about the piles of work I had the following week. I wanted to sit and think happy thoughts. I’m sure some of you are thinking ‘Wow this girl has a lot of time to waste’ but I really don’t. I needed this. Why not devote a day or 2 to thinking happy thoughts instead of worrying as I do all the time?
This weekend arrived in the wake of a fantastic 2 weeks, which I spent with 2 of my favorite family members. My grandmother and her sister. Two firecracker women who made those 2 weeks exceptionally pleasant and fun. But most importantly, left me with a mantra they repeated to me so often, I had no choice but to let it register. The thought was ‘Do not let stress consume you’. Simple right? But you’ll be surprised how easily I get caught up.
So I woke up nice and early, made myself breakfast and then did things that made me happy. Reading, writing and watching TV. Intermittent spurts of cleaning also became a part of this as its is cathartic for me. But most importantly, I was playing baseball in my head. I was batting negative thoughts right out of the field, without a single player to go retrieve them. If you make me sad, out you go. And boy was it an exercise. But boy oh boy was it exhilarating. My mind is individualistic. And opinionated. It doesn’t consider me an opponent and hence, works on its own instructions. So let’s just say it was a tough tussle, but with a mission in play, I couldn’t give up. And I won. Quite a victory I tell you.
I suggest everyone to have these ‘count your blessings/positivity’ weekends. Such a thrill. We get so caught up in what we HAVE to do and what we NEED to do that we ignore what we SHOULD do. Which is…just BE. Someone once said, to gain true mastery, one must master herself. Trust me, my mind can still make me buy a new pair of shows when its clear I haven’t worn the previous 2 purchases and when its positive that they will rot in my closet. But my mind now knows who it’s messing with. And I happen to be stronger than a pile of mush.