Silence

My whole life, I have been a blabber-er. Didn’t start of this way. Apparently, when I was young, I was quite silent. The silent brooding child. That’s me. Observing everything, commenting on very little. But then, at some point, I guess the pent up energy within me burst forth and I couldn’t stop talking. I had something to say about everything. I think it happened in my 20s. I discovered my voice. Please do not confuse ‘voice’ with a melodious sound. I sound quite like a burst horn but I discovered it nevertheless.

And then there was no stopping me. I wanted to yap about life, figure out its purpose, discuss peoples’ plights and their hopes and dreams. I wanted to rip apart that Marquez book and consider various ideas streaming through my brain. My brain you are already privy to: the monster that never sleeps.

But as I grew older, I realized I did not like the jabbering me. I yearned for the sophistication of being the silent observer. The one with so many ideas and profound thoughts that the listener was not worthy of their clout. The one who was quiet and mysterious.

And. Completely unreachable. mentally and emotionally.

Then I discovered, the strength of silence. I discovered that maybe everyone was not worth your thoughts and your expressions. That maybe sometimes it was just more important to hold it all in and release as and when you deem fit. This revelation opened up new doors for me. I realized that silence is sometimes all you need for sanity. To feel like you’re held together. That there is a storm brewing inside of you but only you can unleash it if and when you please. Never again do you have to feel that you let yourself be visible to the world and the world replied in monotones and scripted responses.

It’s liberating to say the least. So let the world know. Shout it from the rooftops. Or rather, think it in your head and cherish the silence. Because it may be the best gift you give yourself.

 

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