Friendship, reliability & expectations

Friendships have been important to me my whole life. One of my first memories are of my neighbourhood friend, who used to accompany me to Montessori down the street. It was a simple time and a happy one. Consequently, I do not talk to that friend anymore. Life lead to drifting and adulthood has a way of highlighting differences until it comes to a point where you don’t remember what you ever had in common.

Another one of my closest friends was also introduced to me during that time and we have had our ups and downs, and these ups and downs have touched extremes, but we’re still around and we’re good.

I grew up with a tight group of girls in school. We were few in class and we quickly picked our preferences. The differences between cliques were evident, but never lead to any serious misunderstandings or clashes. It was pleasant and one felt safe.

Then, as you grow older, friendships deepen, they drift, they tear, they repair, they strengthen and they surprise. And every experience makes you change a little, as if your mind is forced to alter its disposition to accommodate for a new understanding.

And then you reach a certain age when friendships become important, almost essential to your well-being. You begin to lose a bit of patience with certain friendships and one jarring quality becomes all important: reliability.

In our childhood, we are free of responsibility and obligations, but it changes quite drastically the older you get. Family and in-laws, home care taking, jobs and general chores consume us. And within all this, we try and find time to spend with friends because that it the time you let go, you breathe, you vent and you just BE. This is why it’s so important to have friends that are reliable and to be one that can be depended on as well. This is why it’s also important to let go of the ones who constantly let you down. Life is so short. And this time should be invested in people who genuinely find time to include you in their lives.

Another by-product of friendship is expectations. As you grow up you realise people do the best they can. As long as there is respect and love and you can call them if you are stranded in the middle of the night in a broken-down car, and you know they’ll come, you’re ok.

So here’s to great friends, some lost, some new, some darn old, and all a bit nutty:)

 

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