My last post was about wrapping your head around having a baby. It’s such a huge responsibility but you don’t quite comprehend that, until these little eyes look up at you, gleaming with anticipation, because their entire being depends on you. You feed them, you nurture them, you rock them to sleep and you cry when they cry.
Her first three months taught me so much. And since lately my mind has been just one jumbled up mess of random and chaotic thoughts, I felt it best to list it down.
1. Time moves too too fast.
You constantly feel like you’ll blink and you would have missed an important moment. I am a very structured and organized person. I like my lists and I always make sure all is taken care of. But that was before her. Now time seems to be this constant blur passing by my peripheral vision. And I find myself grappling at moments, panicked that I might have missed an important note-worthy event from her life. Did I make sure I documented her first smile? I was there for her first roll over wasn’t I? Did she just gurgle or was that just a random sound? Her first car ride? Picture. Check! Baby book note? Check! Make enough storage space in memory? Check!
Every second all of a sudden becomes precious. There is no time to waste. You want to savor the moments, make sure nothing goes amiss. But my only advice would be to just relax. Not that I follow this advice, but hey, one can learn right? That baby book doesn’t need to be perfect. You have enough pictures of her, trust me. She will gurgle again soon, that one time wasn’t the only time. Just breathe.
2. Everyone will be left wanting more
You can never satisfy everyone. People love babies and yours happens to be one. So, you’ll be invited to infinite parties, people will constantly be coming over, you’ll be receiving calls left right and center. Family members will get upset that they haven’t spent enough time with your munchkin. You’ll find yourself running helter-skelter not wanting to upset anyone. But then in the end you will. And it’s going to upset you. And you’ll question why you couldn’t manage time better. And you’ll wonder why she’s sleeping when you want to bathe her and take her out and why she’s cranky when she meets someone new. I’ll tell you what I tell myself. You’re doing your best. You want everyone to love your little one, for her to feel the love everyone wants to share, but sometimes you’ll get overwhelmed. And it’s ok. Just keep reminding yourself that you’re fine, you’re doing your best and everyone who loves you will see that.
3. The preps to leave the house can take hours
Yes, you know this is true. You’ve got someplace to go. Before you would’ve showered. 10 minutes. Done some makeup. 10 minutes. Picked up your purse. 2 minutes. Out the door.
Now you’ve got to shower. 2 minutes actual shower time, 2 hours of attempts to shower. Pack baby bag. Actual time 10 minutes. 40 minutes because of constant interruptions by baby pooping, crying, wanting to be held. Drop things to car. Come back up. Pick up baby. Forgot something. Go down. Come back up. Baby cranky. Pacify her. Come down the stairs. Forgot purse. Don’t know where to put baby. Pick up purse. Put her on bed. Go down to car to put purse. Come back up. Pick her up, she’s pooped all over bed. Change clothes, change diaper. Pick her up, it’s feed time. Feed her. Wait 5 minutes to burp. Baby spit up all over my sleeve. Change clothes. Pick up baby. Pacifier falls out of mouth. Clean pacifier, baby awake and annoyed. Pacify her. Finally, go down to car. Get in car. Shoot. Forgot the changing mat on the bed. And it goes on. You know exactly what I’m saying right?
4. Plans are made to be broken
Previously, whenever you made a plan, you could see it come to life. Brunches? Sure! Nights out? Absolutely!! Now plans just seem like a long winded chore. Its just too tedious to go out since the preps take too long. And at the back of your mind you’re constantly worried ‘is she crying?’ ‘did I give her enough milk?’ ‘Is she bothering those babysitting her?’. You think of all these elaborate plans but when the time comes, they just cannot happen. Something comes up and boom! No plan. But again, I’ll tell you what I tell myself…this is the best time of your life, but it’s probably the hardest. So why not focus on what matters? Which is, time spent with her. You’ve got just a few years until she no longer needs you. Then you can return to normalcy and I’m sure then, you’ll miss her gurgling by your side as you try to write a blog post.
5. You’re never a ‘just-right mom’
You’re either a tiger mom, an obsessive mom, an uncaring mom, a nerdy mom, a negligent mom, a worry-wart mom, an untrusting mom, an old-fashioned mom, a too modern mom, a too make-uped mom, a slob mom, a too-fat mom, a too-thin mom, a flippant mom, a martyr mom. I can go on. I’m sure you’ve been told you fall under one of these generic umbrellas/tags, yet I’m sure you don’t agree. That’s because no one person can be fit under a specific title. Because I believe, every person if doing their best to be a good parent. Trying their utmost not to mess up this little person. But you know what? If you are being judged, or tagged, or labeled. So be it. Laugh it off if you don’t agree, revel in it if you do. I believe each mom is a little bit of all the labels I’ve listed above. Because at the end of the day, we’re just human. So keep going and do what you do, the only person you have to satisfy is your little one.
So look a bit to your left. Is she smiling? She is? There, that’s a job well done.