Why ‘Sex and the City’ makes me really mad sometimes.

Sex and the City was epic. It was entertaining. It was unique. It was uplifting. It is re-watchable. But it was slightly idealistic. No rather, it was quite idealistic.

It was the story of 4 women, as different as different can be, coming together to form this girl-pack that was stronger than concrete lathered on stone bricks. They were there for each of their ups and their shoulders were constantly damp from each of their downs. They ran across town to help each other pick a dress, cry over lost love, spend New Years together or even just have a Cosmo. Not a single moment of their lives was missed by the other 3. However, this isn’t how life pans out for most of us does it?

I’m 30 something. Live in a glittering metropolis. Have been away from home on and off (mostly off) for 16 years. And have friendships that are much more than just connections. They’re sacred bonds. These friends I’ve known north of a decade, mostly more than 2 decades. But you know the tragedy? They’re scattered all over the world. Name a continent and I’ve got a friend there. They’re my sisters before misters and my soul saviours. But they don’t live in my town. Not even my country. And it’s frustrating.

So then, you put on the TV and there it is. Staring you in the face. These 4 girlfriends holding hands as they explore the city, and their 30s and 40s. But most of us don’t get to hold hands. We need to make do with Skype calls interrupted by rushing to work, howling kids and grocery store runs. We need to make do with frantically catching up once a week to make sure no milestone was missed. And we need to make do with yearly meet ups where everything feels right but there is a sadness that once this time passes, it won’t come again for another year. It’s great but it sucks.

You find yourself pining for your girl gang to be in the same city. Why can’t I have this SATC thing going with my crew? Why must childhood friends be victims to this new age? Where we must go all over the world, to make a place for ourselves.

So what to do? You make new connections of course. You reach out and make a new girl gang. You find yourself more soul sisters. But we live in transient times. I also happen to live in a transient place. You create this amazing network, this web of support, only for someone to lose their job, or get a better one elsewhere, and then they’re off, becoming a part of your scattered crew. It’s frustrating isn’t it?

Maybe they need to redo the show. Make it more about friendships that survive the test of distance and time-differences. Maybe they need to emphasise on the fact that depth of feeling is more important than proximity. That sometimes the ones we love the most are the furtherest, but it’s ok. Because you know what? We’re still blessed. I might not be able to ask my bestie to come hold my hand as I get a root canal, but I know sure as hell that she’s waiting to hear all about it whenever you both can find a minute.

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