He’s here! After the wait, the fears, the nervousness and the horrible first few months, he’s finally here and he’s perfect. We had a tough ride but he’s living up to his name, which means ‘warrior‘. He held strong even when my body was faltering and he came out roaring. And when jaundice hit him two days out of the hospital, he beat it like a rockstar. He even pulled off those makeshift eye masks (which they made him wear in the light box) right off his eyes which made the nurse exclaim: ‘how is he able to pull them off! He’s 2 days old!’
Well, that’s O for you. And may he (Mashallah) always be as strong, and as rock-willed. But these kids seem to know what to do, how to be, while their Mama is learning as she goes.
- I’m sorry I haven’t read to you as much, or sang to you as much, but you’ve got an older sis and your mom has a submarine full of guilt about ignoring her. So give us some time and we’ll all figure it out.
- With you, I’m aware of how fast time flies. And in the effort to grasp time from passing, I mess up. I run helter skelter to make sure I miss nothing. Constantly taking pictures, more than I took of L (didn’t think that was possible). I get upset if I can’t document each gurgle, each expression, each new outfit. I feel like I must capture because in the blink of an eye, you’ll be older just like your sis.
- I feel sometimes like you’re my do-over. With L, I was a first timer, I messed up, I got angry, I got sleepy, I got lazy. But I’m hoping that I won’t make the same mistakes with you. I hope with you I’ll be better, more patient, that I’ll be able to make-up where I faltered with L.
- After a really hard initial pregnancy and generally draining 9 months, when you arrived I wasn’t sure how I would feel. I spent the day waiting for you to make an appearance with nervousness in my stomach. My heart was already full with L, I thought to myself, how would it find space for you? But it did. It’s as if my heart doubled in space. And you filled it all up.
- It’s hard. With 2 so close in age, you really can’t expect to relax, to have a minute to think, to step out whenever you want. You have moments where you feel like you’re drowning. Especially a person like me. Who wants to do everything to perfection to a point where I feel like I’m constantly failing. But I’m determined to get over myself and realise that this is about THEM. I’ve been charged with nurturing two very beautiful personalities and darned if I let them down.
So I hope you’ll enjoy this adventure that’s been thrust on you. I hope you’ll enjoy us as I’m sure we will enjoy you. I hope you’ll be as strong willed as your sister but hopefully not have as unruly hair as her (I can only fight one child each morning). Above all else, I hope you’ll turn out to be a fantastic, big hearted individual because at the end of all the craziness, the running around, the frantic screaming and the sleepless nights, it’s all that really matters.